People are hurting and spilling painful stories on massage tables these days. We are disconnected in a world riveted on fear- disconnected in a time when we most need safe and loving connection. My job is connection. I perform alignments and massages daily and yet I only remember receiving loving touch a few times from my parents. I was shy and touch phobic because I was an abused child; it’s a wonder that I can connect with people. I know that my drive for healing work is informed by the scars that I hold deep within.
It’s only because I receive deep intimate love from friends and family that I am healing from my painful past and sharing my healing work with others. Healing only happens in the context of connection. We can do all the right healthy things, but when done without knowing someone who sees us, knows us and loves us as we are, we don’t get as much good out of all that effort.
I recently read about a 2018 study that looked at combining group therapy and oxygen therapy protocol to heal child sex abuse trauma. The researchers found the most important aspect of the treatment plan was the connection the participants found together in group sessions.
These were the therapies that stood out to me that offered safe and loving connections:
- Oxygen therapy for brain healing.
- Safe, nurturing, almost daily connection with therapist.
- Journaling & art creation as therapy and discussed in group sessions.
The North Fork has brought me so much healing because it engages in each of these healing modalities. Let’s simplify connection to these three ideas, breath, trusted community, and creative outlets.
Breath is a connection with your body. A deep breath is calming to the entire body and can allow you to ground yourself so you can connect with others. Another way to connect with your body and others is in a class that involves breathwork.
Trusted community looks different depending upon the person. It might take therapy to be able to trust your community. Take this as a prompt to reach out to a friend, and honestly tell them how you are doing. Invite them to connect on levels you have not allowed yourself to trust before. This connection is vital to your wellbeing.
Finally, creative outlet varies depending upon your interests. Whether you enjoy gardening, dancing, writing, building, see if you can find a space where you can engage in this with others. Art centers can be found in each of our small towns and offer community crucial to your wellness journey.
I hope you do whatever it takes to move, laugh, pray, sing, dance, explore, create with those you love. Connection is key to everything else you want in your life: your healing, your creative force, your joy. So, go ahead, look deep into your loved one’s eyes, tell them what they mean to you and multiply some love and healing into the world!
Author Liz Evans – Liz has been a bodyworker since 1999 (1982 if you count the times she gave her brother “Indian burns” in church). She owns Wellspring Vitality and is an avid writer.